This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
