kristin has been a bad kristin
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
