Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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