I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
