i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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