I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
