shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
