whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
