She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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