i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
