OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
