he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think my moral compass just broke
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