u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
