Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
