Tell her she can't have a vagina
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
