she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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