I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize