Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
