That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
