Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love how my cats smell like pot.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
