So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My brain says no but my pants say off.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
false alarm, still single
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