His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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