Define "chronic" masturbator.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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