You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
