True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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