We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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