He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
