i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
