then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
