A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize