4 words: hood of his car
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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