Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
