she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
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He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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