You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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