Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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