I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
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You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Send help, water and tortillas.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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