apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
