Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
