girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
