I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
