you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
