WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
