am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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