I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
