the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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