Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
