coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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