How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need to align my fucking chakras
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize