well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
