erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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