Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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