so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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