Where is the hickey?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was confusing and full of hummus
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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