Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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