Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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