Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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