No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
