I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
