I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
