he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
