Someone shit on the floor
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
