ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
