The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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